Since its completion in June 2009, Of Avatars and Elementals has seen some changes and improvements. Some slight, some...not so slight. In the coming weeks and months I will be issuing these "patch notes" to keep readers up to date with what's going on. I fully intend for this to be the final working draft of the story. Should the big boys get their hands on it (and I sincerely hope that they do), further changes will be made prior to publication. If they don't, and I go the route of self-/e-publishing, then this will be what you see at launch.
I've not gotten around to formatting the PDF version and publishing to Scribd just yet. However, if anyone is wanting a rushed Word document inboxed to them, please don't hesitate to say so. Otherwise I will simply update this post with the Scribd link. Please note that ONLY the first chapter and the prologue (once I'm done reworking THAT) will be available for mass download, as I'd like to keep the whole project under relative lock and key when it comes to the masses.
General
Chapter names have been changed to character quotes and are now visible. This was done to be consistent with other novels in the series. Roman numerals will remain unaffected.
The timeline has been shoved back four months (from April to August) to preserve continuity with Book 2. And to make our heroes sweat a bit more in the desert.
Italics (and commas) in the narrative text have been considerably reduced. There will be time for these in the graphic novel adaptation. Eventually.
All characters have received slightly more detailed physical descriptions.
"Datapads" are now referred to as "DREC logs" throughout the Intrepid Earth universe. Looks like Star Wars already laid claim to the former term.
Inmate Asche DeBreis has had the "s" dropped from his surname. It is now simply DeBrei.
Xearo Ta'Lorence now officially has red hair. Somehow "fiery blonde" didn't quite have that elemental ring to it.
Aeria Radeus now speaks more casually. Three characters avoiding contractions was one too many.
Measurements throughout the novel have been changed from metric to customary units for the sake of reader sanity. Doesn't look like the U.S. will be joining the rest of the world any time soon.
Chapter I: Peace Beyond the Sea
Overall word count has increased by 828, from 5,194 to 6,022.
Reworked and added several paragraphs.
It is now more obvious, via flashbacks and narration, that Xearo was genetically enhanced at birth by his father's biological experiments. This was apparently too subtle in the previous version.
Aeria Radeus is now more clearly defined as albino. As pale skin and "platinum" hair didn't do the trick, she now takes greater care to cover herself and hide from the sun. So much for designing revealing outfits.
Provided a subtle link between Aeria's grandfather and the scribe Azsherade from book 2. It is not story-breaking if this link goes unrecognized, however, but family trees make things interesting.
Tweaked the narrative when Aeria enters the den that could give an inaccurate impression she is more attracted to than surprised by Xearo. It is now clear that she is uneasy and more afraid of than pleased with his appearance.
The journal which informed Xearo and Aeria about Orphalese has been moved from the middle of nowhere to the cabin library. It just...made more sense for it to be there.
Avatar's introduction has been expanded from 5 paragraphs to 11. This scene was rushed in the previous version and is now rendered in its originally intended glory.
Commander Epson's name is introduced one chapter early.
An unintentional gap in Avatar's timeline, wherein a gun is drawn on him in one scene and he finds himself chained to a wall in the next, has been resolved. A short new scene has been added to elaborate on his exchange with Epson that prompts him to follow the commander further into the desert. He won't find himself chained to a wall until chapter 2.
