Intrepid Earth: Series Summaries in 50 Words

In the last year, I've been leaning more and more towards the independent self-publishing route. Even so, I took away a lesson from researching the traditional publishing methods. In order to catch an agent's or editor's attention and stand out from the slush pile, a perfectly-crafted query letter has to hook them with the plot. These query letters must be short and sweet, which often means boiling down your entire book to just a sentence or two.

This proved difficult. After working on my characters and worlds and stories for years and years, it's easy to get lost in all the plots, side plots and lessons. There's so much that I want a reader to experience! How on earth would summarizing an entire book with just a few lines possible do the story justice? How on earth could that ever seem interesting?

I started paying attention to movie summaries on the guide channels and Netflix and whatnot. These stories were also given limited real-estate with which to hook the viewers' attention. I started paying attention to what made me want to watch one film over another. Strangely, the short summaries did not always seem accurate in retrospect. It wasn't that they were far off; it's that there was no way to adequately sum up the plot.

Summing up the plot isn't the goal with the query teaser, and it isn't my goal in providing you with them. The goal, rather, is to give you an idea of what to expect as far as a general theme. Keep in mind that I've left most of these stories open to expansion. I'd already like to write a trilogy based off Yamini's adventures, and possibly a spin off featuring her guildmaster, Soliessen, as the main character. There's a ton of lore to explore.

Below are the "teaser" summaries that I might use if I were to write a query letter for each book and submit them to an agent. Which sounds most interesting to you, and why? Would you read them out of order so that you could skip to your favorite character's story first? Who deserves to have their story explored in more detail?

Book 1: Of Avatars and Elementals

Toughened outlaws and a peaceful forest dweller defend their homelands from otherworldly monsters while resisting the urge to kill each other. Humanity's last hopes lie in mana, a once-abundant alien mineral capable of unlocking powerful elemental magic, and the mysterious hermit Avatar who's not entirely convinced humanity deserves saving.

Book 2: Of Shadow and Dissonance

Eager to restore justice to a corrupt empire, Yamini joins an elite guild of adolescent assassins under the supervision of a mysterious woman. With the aid of her shadowspirit companion, Yamini becomes a favored student . . . until she refuses to kill the one politician who can bring balance to the territories.

Book 3: Of Wind and Vigilance

Devastated by the disappearance of his younger sister, Marik Keingel enlists in the military to seek revenge. Trained under Delenthias Epson, the most decorated commander in history, Marik soon discovers that he is the subject of a biological experiment . . . and that the war between territories is not what it seems.

Book 4: Of Water and Malice

Xearo and Aeria retire their weapons and take to exploring their roles of mage and shaman in the peaceful, hidden town of Orphalese. But things take a turn for the worse when DeBrei, the water elemental-turned-demigod, threatens to destroy the city--and the planet--with a great flood.

Book 5: Of Earth and Resilience

Aeria returns to a healing Rhevise to help Yamini and Councilman Turnbase restore the capitol to the Peacemaker's vision without Xearo's knowledge. She begins to fall for a strangely familiar man who seems to know her darkest secrets . . . only to find that he is ultimately out for Aeria's unborn twins.

Book 6: Of Fire and Vigor

Stirred by visions of killing his family brought on by his confrontation with the water elemental, unruly Xearo Ta'Lorence wreaks havoc through Rhevise to track down Yamini and sate his fury. As his destructive spree intensifies, Xearo understands that the only way to free himself is to embrace his enemies.

Book 7: Of Light and Glass

Finding a new vessel in the glass monument Xearo constructed, Avatar's spirit of light travels through time solving mysteries, preventing disasters and righting wrongs. His final vision leads him to a restored Rhevise where an anonymous figure works to assemble the world's remaining mana shards. And the surviving elementals themselves.

A Gamer's Influence: Character Classes

Enthusiasts will say, "Write what you know." Well, I know gaming. I've been absorbed in them for enough years to find nuggets of inspiration within. Readers with an interest in gaming (the role-playing variety, in particular) might notice some familiar trends in my work, but it can be difficult to justify the amount of hours spent in front of a screen as "research" to a non-gamer. Rather than attempt to convert them so that they can appreciate the subtle homages peppered throughout my stories, I aim to grant them insight to the influence that game philosophy has on my personal writing style.

The use of traditional character "classes" is perhaps the most obvious and helpful influences in my writing. In role-playing games (RPGs), classes are used to determine a variety of things about a character's performance. Will they fight, heal, or protect? Use magic or physical weapons? From range or up close? Sneaky or in your face? Heavy armor or cloth? From here it is possible (and also very likely) to delve into hybrids, duals, or even to invent custom classes to suit a unique purpose.

Deciding early on to make a character loosely based on a specific class answers a lot of questions about how that character can and will be developed, both inwardly and outwardly. A rogue/thief/assassin character like Yamini Lithala will naturally be more introverted, less trusting, and self-serving. Outwardly they are nimble, efficient, stealthy, and often clad in leather. They will use any possible advantage, however dishonorable, to win a fight. A paladin (or holy warrior) like Cyleighre Cleaverhorn serves the people and the church. Violence is used to protect rather than to carry out personal vendettas. Blessed platemail armor is ususally worn, as paladins rely on their strength--and their faith--to mitigate damage and outlast their enemies.

Only . . . my  characters actually have faces.

Several ranged classes also sport companions to fight by their sides. Archers/hunters/rangers like Marik Keingel tend to tame and train their own creatures from the wilderness. While attacking from a distance with a bow, crossbow, or firearm, their pets can then charge in and attack an enemy up close. Magic wielders are not excluded! Warlocks summon various demons to do their dirty work, some of which attack physically or use magic of their own. Necromancers like Drathanas Dustbringer can raise the dead and distract their foes with an army of ghouls while assaulting them with dark magic. Even mages/wizards/sorcerers are known to summon elementals. These minions are less common and usually temporary.

    

It's not always necessary to make these classes obvious from page 1. At times the characters begin ostensibly class-less and must transition into one or several. Aeria Radeus is introduced without a discernable role. Initially she leans toward the rogue and as such is dressed in leather and equipped with a degree of melee prowess. As time goes on and she comes into her powers, her class more resembles the shaman--a caster/melee hybrid with an affinity for earthy spells. Avatar D'Kemvi begins his journey as a druid with a close relationship to nature and a knack for healing. As circumstances push him into combat, he later takes on the role of monk--a melee fighter who wears cloth into battle and devastates his foes with a mix of staff strikes and acrobatic martial arts. Xearo Ta'Lorence conducts himself as a warrior/barbarian for almost the entirety of the first book, boasting heavy platemail, a two-handed sword, and rage as his primary source of power. As the book comes to a close (and as his journey continues into future books), however, he transitions into a full-fledged mage--a powerful magic-wielder with mastery over fire and ice. In the future, his sword and heavy armor will likely be retired.

    

The use of a class system might at first seem restricting (and this is a very common complaint among many RPG'ers who have been spoiled by class-less games), but when seen as a guideline instead of a rule, it's actually quite flexible. In writing, there's no balance issues limiting what a character can and cannot equip. The only limitations placed on the characters are those of the story itself. Yamini doesn't throw fireballs--not because "rogues don't throw fireballs, lol" but because she's a shadow elemental, not a fire one. (Don't get me started on shadowbolts. It's not going to happen.) Conversely, it might seem odd that Xearo, a warrior, has access to the area of effect mage spell [Flamestrike] even though most plate-clad tanks have no knowledge of such sorcery. Being an elemental of fire grants him this ability, even though it's not prescribed by his aforementioned class.

    

This philosophy is not limited to Of Avatars and Elementals, either. While I might have ruined the fun of thumbing through book 1 and trying to figure out which classes belong to which characters, there are other stories to peruse and still more in the works. Keep your minds sharpened and see if you can nail all the character/class combinations! Can you guess which character's abilities were inspired by Blizzard's Deathknight class?

Patch Notes for Book 1, 4.0.1

Since its completion in June 2009, Of Avatars and Elementals has seen some changes and improvements. Some slight, some...not so slight. In the coming weeks and months I will be issuing these "patch notes" to keep readers up to date with what's going on. I fully intend for this to be the final working draft of the story. Should the big boys get their hands on it (and I sincerely hope that they do), further changes will be made prior to publication. If they don't, and I go the route of self-/e-publishing, then this will be what you see at launch.

I've not gotten around to formatting the PDF version and publishing to Scribd just yet. However, if anyone is wanting a rushed Word document inboxed to them, please don't hesitate to say so. Otherwise I will simply update this post with the Scribd link. Please note that ONLY the first chapter and the prologue (once I'm done reworking THAT) will be available for mass download, as I'd like to keep the whole project under relative lock and key when it comes to the masses.

General

Chapter names have been changed to character quotes and are now visible. This was done to be consistent with other novels in the series. Roman numerals will remain unaffected.

The timeline has been shoved back four months (from April to August) to preserve continuity with Book 2. And to make our heroes sweat a bit more in the desert.

Italics (and commas) in the narrative text have been considerably reduced. There will be time for these in the graphic novel adaptation. Eventually.

All characters have received slightly more detailed physical descriptions.

"Datapads" are now referred to as "DREC logs" throughout the Intrepid Earth universe. Looks like Star Wars already laid claim to the former term.

Inmate Asche DeBreis has had the "s" dropped from his surname. It is now simply DeBrei.

Xearo Ta'Lorence now officially has red hair. Somehow "fiery blonde" didn't quite have that elemental ring to it.

Aeria Radeus now speaks more casually. Three characters avoiding contractions was one too many.

Measurements throughout the novel have been changed from metric to customary units for the sake of reader sanity. Doesn't look like the U.S. will be joining the rest of the world any time soon.

Chapter I: Peace Beyond the Sea

Overall word count has increased by 828, from 5,194 to 6,022.

Reworked and added several paragraphs.

It is now more obvious, via flashbacks and narration, that Xearo was genetically enhanced at birth by his father's biological experiments. This was apparently too subtle in the previous version.

Aeria Radeus is now more clearly defined as albino. As pale skin and "platinum" hair didn't do the trick, she now takes greater care to cover herself and hide from the sun. So much for designing revealing outfits.

Provided a subtle link between Aeria's grandfather and the scribe Azsherade from book 2. It is not story-breaking if this link goes unrecognized, however, but family trees make things interesting.

Tweaked the narrative when Aeria enters the den that could give an inaccurate impression she is more attracted to than surprised by Xearo. It is now clear that she is uneasy and more afraid of than pleased with his appearance.

The journal which informed Xearo and Aeria about Orphalese has been moved from the middle of nowhere to the cabin library. It just...made more sense for it to be there.

Avatar's introduction has been expanded from 5 paragraphs to 11. This scene was rushed in the previous version and is now rendered in its originally intended glory.

Commander Epson's name is introduced one chapter early.

An unintentional gap in Avatar's timeline, wherein a gun is drawn on him in one scene and he finds himself chained to a wall in the next, has been resolved. A short new scene has been added to elaborate on his exchange with Epson that prompts him to follow the commander further into the desert. He won't find himself chained to a wall until chapter 2.

Character Sketch: Henrik Niestrom

Following a disastrous alchemic accident which caused an entire district of the Rhevisean capitol to fall ill, authorities charged 15-year-old botanist Henrik with attempted mass murder. His conviction brought shame to House Niestrom and he was subsequently disowned. Henrik sought refuge in an orphanage and continued his study of plants and mixtures as he awaited trial. While his disrepute across the empire came as no surprise, he had not expected anyone to admire his crude, archaic skills.

 

Soliessen, guildmaster to a group of assassins, thieves and spies, aimed to make use of the young alchemist's potential. After striking a deal with Henrik, she agreed to purchase his freedom using her wealth and political influence in exchange for his services. As Soliessen's most expensive human asset, Henrik assumed the role of poisonmaster and supplied the guild with deadly concoctions. For months his conscience remained unshaken, never witnessing the end result of his work. But with the arrival of a new recruit named Yamini, Henrik finds his moral horizons suddenly broadened and begins to reevaluate his loyalties--an act that may cost him his life...

The Art of a Prequel

As time progresses and the entertainment industry slowly runs out of ideas, the notion of prequels has begun losing consumer appeal. What was once a creative alternative to sequels, spin-offs and...well...brand new stories with unique characters is becoming a surefire last resort for those wishing to cash in on established success. While prequels have much to offer when done well, more often than not they are carelessly put together and the end result is lackluster. This is partially due to heavy reliance on fan knowledge and support, and largely due to writing backwards being less forgiving than writing forwards. To write a good prequel, one must be talented in all the ways he or she would write any engaging story. However, they must do so with even more limitations, awareness, and demand for surprise.

Time is the writer's primary confines. Care must be taken to maintain accuracy and continuity with previous lore (future events) without threatening to alter thresholds in the timeline. The timelines themselves can pose a problem if significant historical events that were previously alluded to are neglected, or if such events are created for the sake of current plot and are then, chronologically, wiped from future lore via character ignorance.

Another issue of time is settling on the start of it. Going backward from a point, the writer only has so large a window to create a compelling tale (assuming the character is human) before an overlap or parallel occurs. The focus, then, is locating the exact moment in a character's life wherein she becomes interesting. From here it is a matter of creating a series of events to aid in a reverse-arc. The original character is dissected, mangled, and ran through the gamut (figuratively, and at times, literally!) to make sure it undergoes enough change to be considered dynamic and interesting...yet winds up in exactly the same state her future self. In essence, we have to uncreate a character backward.

New characters must also be introduced with caution and their influence monitored. Importance must be such that their existence is crucial to current story progression, but not so much that their absence in future events would go unnoticed or unmentioned by the main character. There are obvious solutions for characters who fail to make appearances later on, solutions which many readers and viewers see coming a mile away. This is an inevitable technical flaw. Concerns should lie in two places specifically: allowing new characters to have an impact in the current story, and making their impact resound in future events. This could be adopted vernacular or mannerisms, skill sets, scars, trinkets and items, or memories. For these reasons, it is a good idea to have every character's history in mind—where they've been, who they've known, what they've done—despite in what order said character appears in the chronology.

Perhaps the biggest technical flaw of all is regard (or lack thereof) for the main character's safety. The audience already knows our character survives to take place in future events. Why, therefore, should they be concerned at all for her health and well-being? For all intents and purposes, the character is immune from death and her success, in one form or another, is guaranteed. This is where strong character building and storytelling come into play, and also where many prequels fall short.

Rather than manifesting a literal theme park and throwing beloved characters on a series of rides to thrill the audience, the writer cannot be lazy and forsake one of the most important rules: Make the reader CARE. To do this, sometimes the character has to be reinvented from the ground up. Her path to the state of mind in future exploits must consist of more than petty action sequences and memorable (or not-so-memorable) dialogue. It must consist of very real emotional struggles, impossible decisions, forged friendships and severed bonds. The audience must be forced to forget that our character survives her obstacles...and one of the best ways to do this is by reminding them of that character's humanity through loss, suffering, and physical pain.

So long as we can relate to and feel something for a character, the mere fact that they survive becomes a moot point before long. By that time, it will become clear that the character does not arrive at her future incarnation physically or emotionally unscathed.

On "Dumbing it Down"

I don't do it so often anymore, but occasionally I will look back at my old short stories, poems, and the first draft of A&E and marvel at how far my writing has come over the last decade. With age, experience and reading I have managed to improve upon many things that have strengthened me as a writer while coming into my own personal style. Learning new words, new techniques, experimentation. All of these are a part of development. And thanks to a few courses in creative writing, I learned how to trim down my prose when I became too wordy. I've finally reached a point where I am confident in my abilities as a writer, yet I still struggle with one aspect of feedback that I receive constantly: the issue of dumbing it down.

Like most commentary, my initial reaction is to take it with a grain of salt. When someone says that something doesn't make sense, I have to balance the possibility of my not having explained it thoroughly against an individual's capacity to solve, interpret or deduce. Additionally, personal opinions and tastes play a large role in a reader's feedback. As a result, suggestions are not always objective, neutral critiques. What flags a comment in my mind is having heard the same complaint or suggestion several times before. This says to me, "Hey Sean, maybe you're doing something wrong!" To which I reply, "Perhaps I should take a closer look." And so I do. This has also made me a stronger writer.

But I seem to have hit a wall where I am unable or unwilling to compromise.

After a bit of research I have learned that most publications, be them magazines, newspapers or novels, are written between a fifth- and eighth-grade level because it maximizes readability by the widest margin of people. Obviously, the easier something is to read, the more people in theory can and will read it. (Movies focus on the PG-13 rating for this same reason.) It makes sense, of course. But I also have to consider the publications that do not subscribe to this philosophy. I have to consider the literary geniuses throughout history who didn't care about "maximizing sales" but instead focused on being original and creating a masterpiece. Even if it meant only a precious few would understand or appreciate it. Even if it meant that they would be long dead before their genius became fully realized.

My concern: How is an author's style defined, and at what point does an oversimplification of prose infringe upon this? I worry because I have worked hard to get my writing where it is. I work hard to write elegantly and intelligently without seeming pretentious or verbose. Yet still, most of my work goes over people's heads. And I know it's not my stories because the incident isn't limited to fiction. My articles, blogs and essays have all had the same effect. I want more than anything to be read and understood and appreciated by the masses, but is establishing myself as an author worth putting on hold the heart and soul of my writing? Are the words I choose and the order in which I use them not the very things that set me apart from another writer? By changing these words to smaller ones or using fewer of them solely for the purpose of increasing their readability, am I...really strengthening my writing, or am I just conforming to the modern paradigm that entertainment should be easily--nigh mindlessly absorbed?

Don't get me wrong. I value ease just as much as the next person. But I also value having the option of various levels or types or degrees of difficulty in whatever I'm doing. (Video games get this right. There is a reason why developers often include hard or outright ridiculous modes to play through.) People--gamers, at least--enjoy challenge. Ergo, being as my target audience largely consists of gamers anyway, I have to believe that people want this same choice when it comes to literature. I mean, do people really want to read 300 pages of sentences consisting of five one- or two-syllable words ALL the time? "John ran to the kitchen. He picked up the phone." /headdesk

Again, nothing wrong with the format, or even the level of writing. What has begun to irk me, however, is the intolerance shown toward writing above the average level of readability. At one point it was acceptable to have varying degrees of difficulty when it came to literature. Now, everyone seems to want easy, easy, easy. On the off-chance that someone tells me why they cannot read my writing through to the end, they usually say something like, "It's too hard," or "I don't want to have to think." Well, why not? Has thinking become so difficult that we can no longer bear the thought of it? What happened to challenging ourselves? What happened to broadening our vocabulary and strengthening our grasp of the English language? Tabloids happened. Reality TV happened. The desire to absorb rather than interpret happened. And the editors, publishers and producers let it happen. We demanded, and they supplied.

And it is possible, too, that the artists, the musicians, the writers are to blame as well. It is possible that when faced with the ultimatum of "dumb it down so we can sell it, or get out" that we commonly take the former option in favor of getting published, finding fame, reaping riches, and so on. The latter option is an exercise in faith, but it is also a stance of principle. To walk away from a surefire deal to preserve one's creative doctrines shows a confidence beyond the money-centric ideology that seems to have afflicted most forms of personal expression. We sacrifice ourselves all too often because we equate the deal, the job, the gig, the contract, the check, to success. We allow those things to validate us despite having diluted who we are and what we create. The proverbial endgame, therefore, has become more a matter of winning favoritism and less one of having something unique or inspiring to offer.

Do we cheapen our methods of self expression by selling them? Of course not. There's nothing wrong with putting a pricetag on one's work. But I do believe that whatever message we are trying to convey as artists is weakened by manipulating and distorting and fine-tuning it to fit inside the perfectly average box so that everyone can perceive it the exact same way. Requisites for interpretive skills, for drawing conclusions, for questioning what we take in, have been relegated into virtual non-existence because everything is constantly spelled out for us! There is little room to inquire, "What about those things?" before someone replies, "There are no other things, save for what we have presented. Nothing exists outside of the box we have drawn for you."

We are supposed to accept this. And I believe most are so conditioned to soaking up like a sponge whatever is poured into their entertainment bowls that they've forgotten how to demand more and instead settle for shallow things...not out of preference, but out of a lack of any other choice! So I'm here to give it to them. And if it takes winning over readers, agents, editors and publishers one by one, then sobeit. The world has plenty of mindless garbage to absorb. But whatever the case, I have absolutely no intention of selling out.

Do I speak from experience? Have I refused a year's salary or more because I'm too stubborn to write "can't" instead of "cannot"? No. My decree, as it were, is one of intent...and it states that my creative integrity will not buckle beneath the pressure of corporate demand and monetary incentive! It will not cater to indifference, to a lack of curiosity or initiative, to those wishing to keep one eye on the prose and the other on the television. My work is not meant to be read on autopilot; as such, I cannot expect everyone to enjoy it. Even those with an affinity for harder and heavier reading won't enjoy it. And that's okay. I still subscribe to the notion that literature is more than a frivolous means of entertaining. It is also an artform. Art...is subject to interpretation, and that's precisely what we could be doing more often. Interpreting...

Instead of absorbing.

Rogue's Creed: Priorities of Parkour

About halfway through Book 2, Yamini begins her studies of parkour. It is then that we get a glimpse at the priority system Narran has chosen to use in order to help Yamini master such a high level skill. What I'm running with in this first draft is my best guess at a traceur's philosophy. While I personally do not practice parkour, the order of priorities Narran suggests seems logical enough to be believed, just as Yamini's instructions to Avatar on the subject of polefighting in Book 1 seemed logical. I have every intention of finding and interviewing a real life traceur to evaluate my take on parkour philosophy. Hopefully I am not far off!

Narran's basic principles are as follows:

Awareness: The ability to actively perceive one's surroundings for the purpose of quickly plotting an effective and efficient course from point A to B. This includes rendering several usable planes for running and climbing, locating stationary and anticipating moving obstacles, and neutralizing, evading or dispatching foes along the course. Limited experience can be gained, to a point, from standstill evaluation of an arena. Further experience can be achieved only by physically navigating a course. Awareness is the top priority and must be mastered first.

Balance: The ability to maintain a heightened kinesthetic disposition despite course difficulty, distraction or duration. This includes compensating for uneven, shifting, narrow, multiple and vertical surfaces at varying velocities. Advanced levels require performing tumbles, flips, various aerial feats, and distributing weight to more quickly and easily traverse an obstacle or lessen impact from a fall. Balance is a high priority, second only to awareness.

Speed: The ability to move rapidly. More than simple sprinting, a rogue must be able to quickly maneuver his or her arms as well as legs in order to grab onto, push or pull various obstacles. Without proper speed, distance between jumps cannot be closed, momentum cannot be built on vertical surfaces, and the chance of being caught increases. "An idle rogue is a dead one." Speed is of moderate priority and should be perfected after awareness and balance are mastered.

Strength: The ability to repeatedly lift, push and pull weight. A rogue's main concern while running, jumping and climbing is body weight. In order to be properly prepared for a flee circuit, one must be able to lift and hold his or her body weight several times, or over a lengthy duration. Uncomfortable positions, such as that of an extended crouch or clinging to the side of a wall, aid both in hiding and escaping. Occasionally the rogue must carry excess weight, depending on the mission. It is thus advisable to train well beyond the practical threshold. Strength is a moderately low priority.

Endurance: The ability to sustain awareness, balance, speed and stength over long periods of time. What appears at first to be one of the more valuable attributes, endurance is actually the lowest priority. Considering that a rogue who properly utilizes the previous four attributes should be able to navigate a course and escape with relative quickness and ease, endurance lessens in importance. "If a rogue finds that she is out of breath and can no longer perform the feats necessary to escape, that rogue has made a mistake somewhere and thus deserves to be caught." Endurance should be perfected to a degree, but should not be given priority over the other four attributes.

What we have here is a chain of priorities: Awareness > Balance > Speed > Strength > Endurance. The further down the chain, the more an attribute's efficiency relies on the ones above it. Awareness is of utmost importance. Balance is essential, but worth nothing if the rogue cannot plot an adequate course in his or her mind. ". . . balance without awareness leads to faltering feet." Speed is essential to physically move from point A to B and to evade capture, but speed is useless if the rogue stumbles and falls. Strength is necessary to overcome many common obstacles, but worthless if the rogue is too sluggish or imbalanced to reach them. Lastly, endurance should be used mostly as a training component to improve the other four attributes. Accomplishing extraordinary feats in a short amount of time is more advantageous to a rogue than maintaining par performance over long durations.