At the behest of my fans...

Okay. I should say fan. Singular.

I realize it has been some time since I've updated. This is due partly to life having gotten a bit busy recently, and partly due to there being very little to report. Work on Of Shadow has slowed considerably. Continuity issues. Fears and uncertainties. Nothing out of the usual for me. First drafts aren't easy, and they aren't quick. Couple those things with one of the world's most adept procrastinators and you'll have quite a wait for a piece of literature.

Thankfully, you can be assured that it ends up pretty good. =)

With weekends being the only time I can sit down and focus, and these past several weekends being loaded with weddings and festivals and everything else keeping me away from the keyboard, I've gotten a bit lazy. Sorry to report, I still haven't applied my edits to Of Avatars. That goes without saying, no query letters have been crafted, no agents or agencies submitted to--basically, no progress other than that of the new book. Maybe this is good enough, maybe it isn't. For me, it signifies failure and inadequate motivation.

I'm torn between perfecting my first piece and finishing the second. For being this late in the game, that's kind of bad. Especially since I have to literally wait for Yamini to finish telling the story. I don't know everything that is going to happen, and neither does she. I know where she ends up...just not how she gets there exactly. That is the fun part about writing these stories. It is as much an adventure for me as it is for the characters. They never fail to surprise, never disappoint.

I, on the other hand...

*sighs* Back to work.

Deadlines...this is new...

Even though this is the first official deadline I've set for myself (and any time I say "official" that just means I've said it to enough people to make my life hell if I don't follow through), it's still a daunting task to put a time cap on something. Perhaps the reason I did it is for practice, because I know that eventually...deadlines are going to be something I must perfect. Until now I've been very wishy-washy, saying things like, "Oh, I'll be done by the end of 2008," and then taking an additional six months to do just that. I can't count the times I've told myself and maybe a handful of others that I'd be done that weekend, that month, that year. Ugh.

Another reason, perhaps, is to keep myself motivated. Am I tricking my own mind? Possibly. But if it works, I can't really argue. The idea of having fifty people expecting something from me on a specific day and then not delivering churns my stomach. I couldn't handle disappointing that many people. And so here I am, glued to the couch for the second day in a row writing and rewriting.

To this day it amazes me how many transformations take place in a story over time. I think back to the original draft of Intrepid Earth that I wrote in high school and realize what absolute garbage the prose is to me, and at the time I was thinking, "Man! My writing can't get much better than this!" Boy, was I wrong. Now, writing the first chapter from scratch for the fourth time, I'm coming to understand something that I'm sure all published and successful authors struggle with: No piece is ever finished. It just reaches an acceptable point to give it to the world. I think forward to when my novel will be sitting on the shelves (nothing wrong with wishful thinking) and...sort of dread knowing that it will be final, that even if I go home and draft another version ten times better from scratch, that's it. It's on the shelves. Done.

*sighs* Best to make sure that the published version is kick ass to begin with, and then put it out of mind.